


Beautiful Nightmare

by gay_kat (orphan_account)



Category: Dil - Fandom, Phan, Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Anxiety, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Friends to Lovers, Gay, M/M, Panic Attacks, Threats of Rape/Non-Con, Violence, beautiful nightmare, not really rape cuz nothing happens but it almost happens, phan high school au, punk!phil, sin - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-11
Updated: 2017-04-12
Packaged: 2018-10-17 20:33:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,148
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10601703
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/gay_kat
Summary: After a life of loneliness, Dan thinks he's finally made a good friend. He's covered in tattoos and has a confidence Dan admires. But what if he isn't who Dan thinks he is? What happens when his dream come true turns into a nightmare?





	1. Chapter One

“Daniel, you better have yourself in bed by the time I get up there,” I heard my mum shout. I looked over at the digital clock on my nightstand, reading nine-thirty.  _ Really, mum? _ I thought.  _ I’m sixteen and you’re telling me to go bed at nine-thirty? _ That’s when I heard skin on chestnut wood, and knew I was in for it. Without consent, my mum thrust the door open and was at the foot of my bed in two strides. 

“Mum, it’s only nine-”

“I don’t care, Dan,” she retorted, not allowing me to finish. “It’s the night before the first day of your Junior year. I will not have you starting it off the wrong way.” My mum had always been a strict woman, I knew that much. I hadn't been allowed to go to a sleepover until I was ten, and even then I was there late and gone early. I was lucky to get thirty extra minutes of peace compared to last year, when she sent me to bed not a second after nine. Her nature hadn’t stopped me, though. I had still managed to “borrow” the car until after curfew, and it was a miracle she hadn’t found the bottle of tequila I’d hid. Sure, I wasn’t the best son, but she wasn’t the best mum, either. Not since dad left. 

“Mum, I-”

“I said, Daniel,  _ bed. _ ” Her voice was stern and warning, and I knew what would happen if my head didn’t hit the pillow in two seconds. Her piercing green eyes said ‘danger,” and her mouth was a firm like of fire, ready to shoot harsh words any minute. In record time, I had my head on my crimson pillow and my black duvet brought to my chin.  _ I need to stop submitting to her,  _ I thought before she turned off the light and left my room without a word.  _ One day. _

 

By eleven I still hadn’t fallen asleep. I couldn’t. My brain was filled of anxiety for the next day. I wasn’t the best when it came to other people. Most kids my age missed curfew getting drunk parties. I missed curfew visiting lily pad ponds that reflected the moonlight and thinking about boys. The only reason for the tequila bottle was for overwhelming moments like right now. Though before I knew it, all these thoughts had caused my eyelids to flutter closed, and dreams invaded my worried mind. 

 

The sweet sound of croaking beeps was a slap in the face, waking me up with a sudden realization that,  _ this was it.  _ This was the first day of another agonizing year.

I was slow to get ready, showering and dressing taking twenty minutes. I skipped breakfast and inspected myself in the mirror hanging on the back of my door. I didn’t notice the reflection of my mangled sheets, grey walls, or plush animals lined up on their shelf. I just saw me. My black skinny jeans, clinging to my legs in a death grip, my long sleeve  _ Death Note _ shirt, and my tangled brown hair. I saw what everyone else would see. Among girls in inappropriate fitting dresses, guys in button up shirts and varsity jackets, there would be me, clad in boring clothes that screamed “nerd.”

Suddenly my shoes were too tight, breath caught in my throat and lungs clamped shut in fear. My eyes became a faucet, dripping salty tears with a thudding drip. Everything is getting fuzzy, and all I can hear is my breathing- or lack of it. Everything is spinning and I can’t stand, so I stumble back until I’m sitting on the floor with my back to the bed. My breathing picks up, now sporadic and broken. It’s all a wave that has washed over me, drowning, suffocating. I can’t stand it. I want it to end. After another minute of pure panic I tried to steady my breath, slowly starting to take deeper breaths. Then I remembered something I read online about how to deal with panic attacks. Thing of five things you can see, four things you can touch, three things you can hear, two things you can smell, and one thing you can taste. 

I started with what I could see. One, myself in the mirror, knees up to my chest and face red with tear tracks down my cheeks. Two, my greatly elevated bed with my mangled black duvet. Three, my Totoro plushy in the corner of the room, which was about half my height. Four, the painting I did my sophomore year of a very detailed forest with hidden animals that rested on my nightstand. Five, the fish tank I had on my dresser, containing only three fish- Fluffy, Susan, and Martha.

Then I thought of what I could touch. One, my soft memory foam bed. Two, my smooth yet cracked chestnut foor. Three, my mangled and messy black hair. Four, my phone, the case a puffed out night sky with stars that moved around inside like a snowglobe. 

Next was what I heard. One, the hoarse howling wind outside. Two, the clock on the wall ticking like a bomb counting down until my death. Three, my mom’s morning news on the television, broadcasting cold winds and cloudy skies. 

Then what I could smell. One, the linen scented candle that sat on my nightstand, my favourite scent, nearly burned out. Two, mom’s morning coffee, smelling of autumn pumpkin spice from her creamer. 

Last was what I could taste. One, my mint scented toothpaste, staining my mouth with a refreshing aftertaste. 

I looked back at myself in the mirror. The tears had stopped flowing and my chest was rising, slowing with every breath. I took a look at the time, noticing it took me ten minutes to calm myself down, leaving twenty minutes before school started. My legs shook like silver spoons held in strong arms with loose wrists as I tried to stand. I wobbled over to get my bag and left the house without so much as looking at my mother. This was going to be a long day.

 

* * *

 

 

Homeroom, room 213, Mr.George’s class. A buff man with broad shoulders and a small waist stood at the front of the room, not a hint of grey in his hair. You would think the blond would diminish his manliness, but it only enhanced it, seeming to threaten anyone to try to make fun of him. I was glad to see there were no assigned seats, so I found myself at the back of the room, as far away from the teacher's desk as possible. 

Looking out the window like a stereotypical kid with no friends in some cliche high school movie, I found the garden in the center of the school to be quite beautiful at this time. The rising sun set a dim light over the scene of brick paths intersecting in the center of the garden, leading from one side of the school to the other, encircling roses in the center. The corners of the garden held sunflowers and daisies, protected by more decorative stones. My school was quite wealthy, with so many fundraisers and sponsors, which I guess was why they could afford such an extravagant garden for a school. 

The warning bell rang a piercing sound, rendering my ears unusable. Students began filling in as to not be late, and I continued to sit alone. I hoped it would remain  that way, or I at least wouldn’t be stuck with someone too awful. As I thought this, the number of seats dwindled until the seat next to me was one of two left. A boy entered the room and stopped to find a seat, giving me time to study him. He was tall, taller than me at six foot. He looked like a typical bad boy- hair dyed electric blue, tight black pants with chains hanging off the left side, and a black  _ My Chemical Romance _ t-shirt. With a few tattoos on his arms and piercings featured on his ears and lower lip, this guy spelled trouble. But something was intriguing about him- the way his dragon tattoo moved when he flexed his bicep, or his blue eyes accented with green, or how he was getting closer to me, and was now sitting next to me. 

“Hey,” the stranger said.

“H-hi,” I responded.  _ Curse my anti-social stutter.  _

“What’s your name?”  _ Why is he so social and talkative? _

“Um, Daniel.”

“I’m Philip, but you can call me Phil” he said.

“Oh, hi,” I said, realizing I hadn’t asked his name. He smiled confidently, seeming to know how to socialize like a normal human being.

“So, Daniel, what year are you in?” I was confused with the question before remembering this was homeroom, and there were kids ranging from freshmen to seniors all pushed into one room.

“Oh, um I’m a junior. W-what about you?”

“I’m a senior, but I’ve been held back, so I really should be in college,” he said, not seeming to be bothered with sharing this fact. 

“Oh,” I said, not really sure how else to respond.

“Are you excited for junior year?” He asked coolly. 

“More or less,” I replied, sounding less like a kid who was meeting an adult they didn’t know what to make of. 

“Well I’m sure ready for senior year. No more dealing with high school or-” he was interrupted by the screeching bell, deeming the first day of school to officially begin.

“That damn bell,” he remarked with a laugh, and I laughed too. “Hey, you want to compare schedules real quick?” I nodded and showed him my schedule, learning we have third and sixth period together, which were our electives, along with lunch. 

“Wow, I guess I’ll see you around,” he said before class started. It was all talk of how the class was run and how the school worked, allowing me to look back at the garden and zone out a bit. I wondered what the roses would look like together in a bouquet, delicately trimmed and sunk in water. That’s when I felt a hand on my thigh and spun around to see Phil looking at me, his hand leaving a soft touch on a part of my body it shouldn’t be. 

“Hey, you zoned out. Did you even hear the assignment?” I shook my head, unable to form words with his hand still on my thigh. “Well, we’re supposed to get to know our partners.” I mouthed ‘oh’ and he laughed.  _ Why’d he laugh? _ “You don’t talk much, do you?” His hand still hadn’t moved from my thigh and my opposite leg bounced with anxiety.  _ Only when guys like you are around, _ I thought, but I just shook my head and he took his hand away, letting me breath a little more steady. 

“So, tell me about yourself.”  Why was it that this simple request always rendered me speechless? 

“Um, there’s not much to tell,” I finally replied. 

“Alright, well, what’s your favourite color? Mines black,” he said, gesturing to his ensemble of dark clothes.

“Um, blue,”  _ like your eyes. _ “What’s your favourite band? Mine’s Muse.” 

“MCR, if it’s not obvious. Have any siblings? I’ve got an older brother.”

“Nope. What’s your -”  _ RING. That damn bell _ .

“What’s your thought on that bell?” he said with a laugh.

“It is truly awful,” I chuckled.

“I agree. Well, see you third period Daniel.” I nodded as he walked off, lip pulled between his teeth and tongue dancing on the piercing. 

  
Second period was a cascade of words I didn’t care to hear, repeats of rules, do’s and don’t’s, and how to’s. I couldn’t pay attention to said rules because all I could think about were the roses, with soft red petals and pricking thorns, and what they would look like in the blue fringe I saw earlier above blue speckled green eyes. These distracting thoughts may be how I managed to have detention on the first day of school. _Great, this is exactly what mom didn’t want from me on my first day._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! :P How are you? eating okay? Getting enough sleep? Drinking water? I know it seems stupid, but getting enough nutrients, sleep, and water won't just help your body, but it will help your mind. It will help you to be in a good mental state, and that could turn your life around. So make sure to look after yourself- it's not selfish, it's self-care.
> 
> To be honest, I'm pretty much only posting this to talk to you :P If you like the story, that's great! But I do miss leaving notes hear and helping people out, so writing for me is less writing cuz I want to, and more writing cuz I want to talk to you guys :P But I already had this story prepared so I thought, why not throw it up. So, on the note of writing, something that would be so so helpful is prompts. Leaving any kind of prompt would be soo helpful and I would appreciate it so much. Even if you just tell me if you like Punk!Phil, Punk!Dan, smut, no smut, sad fics, etc, that would be really helpful :)
> 
> So, tell me about you. I would be SOO okay if you just left a comment saying "wow Jenny has been such a bitch lately" and I could just say "why's Jenny a bitch?" Or literally anything else. If you wanna talk about something you did that you're proud of, or even not so proud of, let me know. I'll congratulate you or send you a virtual hug and try to help. If you wanna talk about something more personal and don't want to comment it for other people to see, Here's my social media stuff~
> 
> Instagram- gays._.aesthetic  
> Twitter- kat234692  
> Tumblr- Anxiousthighs  
> Kik- KatPotato3  
> This Crush- kat-whale  
> Snapchat- Katjello23
> 
> Talk to me any time and I will be more than happy to listen. If I don't answer, I'm probably sleeping :) But I promise, if you just send me a message and say "Hey you like potatoes?" or "Hey life really sucks right now," I'll answer. Life sucks. everyone knows it. Even if you have a great life and you're really happy, you still know that life sucks. maybe now for you, but for others. And sometimes you need someone else to help you get through it, and that is totally okay. So whether you message me, or have a really close friend, a close parent/family member, or therapist/counselor, everyone should have someone to talk to. It feels so much better to just be able to say "hey, I'm feeling really awful right now" and they can give you a hug or take your mind off of it. I'm happy to do either. 
> 
> So, I hope you have a lovely day. Just take it slow, deep breaths, happy thoughts, and everything is going to be okay :) I love you, thank you so much, and until next-time! ^-^


	2. Chapter Two

“Hey, Daniel,” Phil exclaimed as I entered our third hour art class. 

“Hey. You know it’s just Dan, right?” I said with a chuckle, sitting down next to him. I silently patted myself on the back for being able to say so many words without stuttering over a single one of them.

“Is it?” He said, faking confusion. I nodded and he smiled, and I just couldn’t pull my eyes away from the way that small piece of metal that danced on his lip. 

“Well, ‘Just Dan,’ what’s up?”

“That’s the worst joke you could possibly tell,” I chuckled.

“No it’s not. It’s the best dad joke in the book.” Something about the contrast of the tone of his voice and his tattoos and piercings made me like his even more. Maybe it was how his contradicting bright personality mixed with his threatening look. Maybe it was his permanent smirk and soft eyes that seemed to scream comfort. I couldn't put my finger on it, but there was something about him I loved. 

“So, are you a big artist?” He said, making small talk- another skill I wasn’t keen in. 

“Um, I guess you could say that…” I responded, art being a guilty pleasure of mine. 

“I’m not. I’m just taking this class for the credit,” he said. I nodded, my brain yet again not knowing how to form words adequate enough to answer. The bell rang and I smiled to myself, remembering our earlier encounter with the bell. 

“So, how’s your junior year starting out?” Phil asked, leaning on the desk he sat at with his head in his hand. 

“Terrible. I already have detention,” I sighed, my mood diminishing. 

“Oh, me too,” he said casually, as if it was expected; maybe it was. 

“Oh, uh, I guess I’ll see you there.”

“You sure will,” and I swear on my life I saw him wink with his beautifully long eyelashes before focusing his attention on the thin, young woman conducting the class. 

 

* * *

 

 

As I entered the lunchroom, I was immediately overwhelmed. Rows upon rows of unfamiliar faces, the quiet people among those who didn't know when to stop talking. I looked like a mannequin modeling clothes for quiet nerds like myself, stood at the front of the cafeteria without a clue what to do. I was contemplating sitting in the bathroom or library until the next bell rang, but that was when I felt a hand with soft skin and a comforting grip take my hand and begin pulling me along. I followed the hand to see it was connected to a tattooed arm, which led to a pierced lip, which led to bluey yellow green eyes covered by a cascading waterfall of blue fringe. I didn't ask questions as he led me outside to the beautiful garden courtyard I’d fallen in love with. There were only three other people out here, two being a sappy couple and the other sitting alone comfortably reading a book. Phil sat me down on the short wall of stones guarding the roses, sitting next to me so our knees were touching. I held my breath as it any sort of movement would ruin the perfect moment and send him in the other direction. 

“So, Dan,” Phil said, interrupting the silence.

“So,” I said after a few moments of him not continuing. 

“You looked quite lost when I walked in there, so I thoughts you might fancy coming out here with me,” he said, turning to face me. I nodded, still unable to form words, doing nothing but admiring the roses. 

“They’re quite beautiful, aren’t they,” he said, probably noticing my entranced gaze on the flowers. I nodded and he chuckled, picking one up, careful to avoid the few thorns. I was going to ask what he was doing with it when he delicately placed it behind my ear. “Beautiful,” he whispered, sending shivers through my body. Was he talking about me or the flower?  _ The flower idiot, why would he be talking about you?  _ I thought. Before I could process my actions, I removed the flower from my ear and Phil’s face fell for a moment. That was until I placed it behind his own ear.

“Beautiful,” I whispered. He immediately smirked, his lip ring accenting the beauty in it. 

The moment was interrupted by the ringing of the bell, dismissing up to our fifth period.  _ I’m going to smash that damn bell, _ I thought. Phil laughed, placing the rose back behind my ear. 

“See you later, Dan,” he said, his voice succulent and smooth. 

“Bye,” I whispered, still entranced by our encounter. 

 

* * *

 

 

The final period of the day finally came around. There sadly were assigned seats, leaving Phil and I on opposite sides of the room. He waved, and I waved back. He smiled, and I smiled back. He winked, and I blushed a hot tomato red. The lanky teacher, having legs far too long for his torso, began class right away. Every time I tried to sneak a look at Phil, his eyes were already on me. I felt like a young girl with her first crush, blushing profusely. The hour couldn’t go by slower, filled with many blushing looks and an unfathomable amount of smirks and winks. And when the bell rang, I was immediately greeted with Phil’s hand on my arm. 

“Hey,” he said, a smirking smile lighting up his face. “You still have the flower?” To be honest, I had forgotten that it was event there. But his brightened eyes and soft smirking grin told me that was a good thing. Realizing I hadn’t said anything, I nodded, emitting a chuckle from him. 

“So, ready for detention?” he asked. I nodded sadly and we started walking side-by-side to the room it was held in. 

“What landed you in detention?” he asked. 

“Um, i guess I just wasn’t paying attention in class.” As we began nearing the detention room, I was quickly pinned up against the wall by strong but delicate hands. 

“What was running through that mind of yours, dan?” His voice was low but smooth, and he had one hand on my waist and the other on my cheek. 

“Y-you,” I stuttered. And before I knew it, his lips were on mine, hungry but smooth and pleasant. 

“God,” he practically moaned as he pulled away, his face still close to mine. 

“Th-that was, you’re,” I couldn’t even form words, and he just laughed and pulled me closer to kiss me again. I could feel him smirking into the kiss, his lip ring cool against my lips. By the time we were in detention and my hand was interlocked with his, I hadn’t even noticed the flower had fallen out of my hair and crumbled against the hard floor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hia :) I feel like a YouTuber trying to find a good intro every time I say hi on here haha. I dunno, I never really know how to address people. In person I just awkwardly and quietly say hi and let them carry the rest of the conversation. But on the internet, and behind a screen, everything is different. You aren't in the direct eyes of your peers. That can be good and bad. The obvious bad is that there are asshole people that use this disguise as an opportunity to anonymously tear people down. These people think that just because you can't see them, it makes everything okay. Just because they aren't pushing you into lockers or physically hurting you that it' not bullying and it's okay. But it's not. It is in no way more okay than it is to shove someone into a locker and call them false names. Even if it's true, it doesn't matter. (I know I've sworn but I'm gonna use a real bad word that I really don't think should be used at all, so I'm just saying that it's just an example/scenario and you shouldn't use this word cause it's mean :)) If you're gay, and someone calls you a faggot (that's the word) that is still not okay. Yes, it means a homosexual. But it is way to commonly used in a negative way, and even if you are gay/homosexual (or anything else) it's still not okay. I don't know exactly where the point of this has gone, but- if someone is sending you bad messages- whether it be calling you names or just saying "hey I hate you're account"- there's different ways to handle it. If they are saying bad things, do the simple thing of block and report them. don't think about what they might think of you, because the opinion of people that treat you like that just doesn't matter. if they do just say "hey I don't like your account" you can be the bigger and mature person and say "well I'm sorry you feel that way, but I like it and it makes me happy." If they continue harassment, block and report. don't even respond, don't even think about it. Just do it. 
> 
> I know that was a lot of negative, but let's look at the positive. A lot of people have some form of anxiety, like social anxiety. I am one of them, so I can definitely speak from experience. On the internet, you don't have to look at people and you don't have to worry about people looking at you. You don't have to worry about eye contact or where to look otherwise. You just have to sea words on a screen. And so people (especially/more beneficially people with anxiety) are able to sit in their own safe space and talk to people without feeling as pressured or judged. In person, you might worry about how to address someone, whether to say "hi" or "Hey" or "sup" and even though you can definitely (and validly) think the same thing online, (from experience) it just doesn't seem as pressuring. You can send them a message and just say "Hey, I really like you're account" and (there being many beautiful and kind accounts out there) they will most likely say "Hey, thank you so much, I really appreciate it :)" and that's that. Congratulations, you have had a (hopefully) pleasant conversation :) (that wasn't sarcasm by the way, it kind of sounded like it) Another thing from my own experience- this has helped me. Being able to send someone a message and just say "hey, I hope you're dong well and having a lovely day. If you ever want to talk about anything, I'll always be open :)" and mean every word has helped boost my self-confidence a bit more and make me feel like I'm doing something. And I would 100000% recommend that feeling. I love just sitting here and talking and giving you hopefully somewhat useful 'advice.' I love it. 
> 
> So, here's today's homework. 1) Send someone a message. Whether it be a close friend, a family member of some sort, or an account you really like, send them a nice massage. Whether it is saying 'I love you' or 'I appreciate your work' or 'I really like your account.' It doesn't matter. Because I'm sure you will feel the same happy feeling i feel when someone genuinely appreciates your kind words. homework 2) tell me about you. I always want to here about you. So, it would be so cool to hear your input. To hear how internet based stuff and internet friends have helped you, or your negative or positive opinion on the internet. I would so love to hear anything you have to say :)
> 
> Wow this was long. I'm sorry, I know I kind of rant a lot, but this is basically the only time I really get to talk much so i take advantage of it. I just want you to know how much of an advantage in communication the internet is. And I want you to know that, absolutely no matter what, I love you. I appreciate all your efforts in everything you do, even if all you do is keep yourself together- because that is so important. And if you just stop, take some deep breaths, and focus on even the smallest things that can make you happy, you will be okay. You are going to get through this. So thank you so so much and goodbye! ^-^

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! :P How are you? eating okay? Getting enough sleep? Drinking water? I know it seems stupid, but getting enough nutrients, sleep, and water won't just help your body, but it will help your mind. It will help you to be in a good mental state, and that could turn your life around. So make sure to look after yourself- it's not selfish, it's self-care.
> 
> To be honest, I'm pretty much only posting this to talk to you :P If you like the story, that's great! But I do miss leaving notes hear and helping people out, so writing for me is less writing cuz I want to, and more writing cuz I want to talk to you guys :P But I already had this story prepared so I thought, why not throw it up. So, on the note of writing, something that would be so so helpful is prompts. Leaving any kind of prompt would be soo helpful and I would appreciate it so much. Even if you just tell me if you like Punk!Phil, Punk!Dan, smut, no smut, sad fics, etc, that would be really helpful :)
> 
> So, tell me about you. I would be SOO okay if you just left a comment saying "wow Jenny has been such a bitch lately" and I could just say "why's Jenny a bitch?" Or literally anything else. If you wanna talk about something you did that you're proud of, or even not so proud of, let me know. I'll congratulate you or send you a virtual hug and try to help. If you wanna talk about something more personal and don't want to comment it for other people to see, Here's my social media stuff~
> 
> Instagram- gays._.aesthetic  
> Twitter- kat234692  
> Tumblr- Anxiousthighs  
> Kik- KatPotato3  
> This Crush- kat-whale  
> Snapchat- Katjello23
> 
> Talk to me any time and I will be more than happy to listen. If I don't answer, I'm probably sleeping :) But I promise, if you just send me a message and say "Hey you like potatoes?" or "Hey life really sucks right now," I'll answer. Life sucks. everyone knows it. Even if you have a great life and you're really happy, you still know that life sucks. maybe now for you, but for others. And sometimes you need someone else to help you get through it, and that is totally okay. So whether you message me, or have a really close friend, a close parent/family member, or therapist/counselor, everyone should have someone to talk to. It feels so much better to just be able to say "hey, I'm feeling really awful right now" and they can give you a hug or take your mind off of it. I'm happy to do either. 
> 
> So, I hope you have a lovely day. Just take it slow, deep breaths, happy thoughts, and everything is going to be okay :) I love you, thank you so much, and until next-time! ^-^


End file.
